Parents demand 21-year-old daughter take 18-year-old sister along on her solo trip to Europe, daughter refuses, leaves alone without giving the family details: ‘I have worked hard for this'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jun 24, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

When I was 19 years old, I decided to go on my first solo trip. I graduated from high school, took a gap year to work and save money, and planned and mapped out everything I wanted to see and all the sites I wished to visit.

It was a great experience. Not only the trip itself, but the sense of freedom I felt planning the entire thing by myself. It was the first time I felt like a complete adult, and I learned a lot about myself and about life in general during those months that I was all on my own.

Had my parents approached me before the trip and asked me to take my younger sister with me, I would have laughed in their faces. Even though I love my sister, there was absolutely nothing they could have offered me that would have convinced me to let her tag along. 

Luckily, my parents never asked that of me, but the parents of the daughter in the story below did. Keep scrolling to read how she reacted to their request, and how the family recovered (or didn't recover) from this dispute.

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  • 01
    "My parents aren't in charge of me"
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITAH for not letting my sister come with me on vacation?

    Ok someone please respond to this cause I feel like I'm being gaslit in this situation and I just need to make sure I'm not going crazy.
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    I 21F just graduated university with a degree in education. I have never been great in school (learning disabilities and all
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    that) so finishing university to me is a big accomplishment and I really worked hard and tried by best while also having a part time job. Last year I started
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    saving because I have always wanted to go to Europe and visit a whole bunch of countries but I've never had the time or funds
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    to go. So as a present to myself for graduating I started to save and now Ive booked a trip Europe for 3 weeks next month FOR ONE.
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    Cheezburger Image 10520584960
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    My family and I have always been close, it me, my parents, my older brother who's 23 we'll call him J, and two younger sisters who are 14(L) and 18(S).
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    (The 18 year old is the reason for this post) Like I said my family and I are pretty close, my parents. treat all of us the same, my
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    brother is my like favourite person ever, I absolutely adore my youngest sister, and I love S so much but after this I'm thinking
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    maybe we aren't as close as I thought maybe I've been gaslit my whole life. Back to the reason for this post, S also graduated from
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    high school this year so we had a big grad party for the both of us and it was so much fun. Later that night when all the guests left I told my siblings about my
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    trip(I told my parents a few days before). Then like 20 min later my mom pulled me aside and said "S said that she's always wanted to go to Europe and she was
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    hoping you could make it a sister vacation, a present for both your graduations, we'll pay for it, maybe even L can go" I honestly didn't know
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    what to say. I have worked really hard for this and was really looking forward to experiencing it ALONE, I bought the plane ticket alone, I planned my itinerary
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    alone, I booked the hostels and transportation alone. I know I should be grateful that my parents want to pay for it but Ive saved up all year for this as a present to
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    myself plus I have never heard my sister say she wants to go to Europe but she's 100% heard from me that I want to go! (also I just realized my parents weren't
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    going to pay for the trip until my sister wanted to go. wt ?!) I told my mom that I worked really hard for this and Id prefer to do it alone.
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    My mom told me that S worked really hard in school she has a 4.0 gpa btw, like okay... I also had to work hard to get to where I am, I may have not gotten
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    perfect grades but who cares anymore. My mom said to me that S deserves to go on a vacation and I told her that she could go on one just not with me. We
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    go back and forth a bit until S comes up to us and said "Did mom tell you? I'm coming with you!" I told her "No you're not" she then said "Mom said I could go" |
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    am 21 years old, I don't live with my parents anymore and I haven't for 4 years, I hate to say it but my parents aren't in charge of me anymore and they've
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    made that clear and S is 18 now so they shouldn't be in charge of her anymore. S and I start to argue and my dad comes over to yell at us
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    and asks us what the h..l happened and we told him... This was his response "Just let her go, it's not a big deal"
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    Cheezburger Image 10520584704
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    This is the part where I fell like I'm being gaslit because isn't it common sense that if someone book a trip for one they want to go alone? why is everyone agreeing? I
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    told them again that she couldn't come with me and my mom said that I could go again somewhere next year by myself. I told them I
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    was leaving and I was done with this conversation and I left. I texted my brother that night and he said to just ignore them
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    Fast forward 2 weeks and I'm days away from leaving, I wouldn't tell S and my parents my flight information or the day I leave no matter how many
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    times they tried. S isn't responding to my texts or snaps, my parents are talking to me but I can tell their upset which my youngest sister can see so
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    she doesn't know what to think and my older brother is still on my side but he hasn't talked to anyone about it.
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    But genuinely am I valid in this decision? Cause they're honestly making me feel bad about it and idk what to do. I feel like I've earned this but my sister has also
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    worked hard to get her grades and scholarships. AITAH for telling her she can't come with me? AITAH for still being really exited for my trip even if they're mad at me?
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  • 34
    shammy_dammy Well, your mom can pay for your sister to go alone.
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  • 35
    Maximum Tomatillo 109 NTA. You're 21. You're allowed to celebrate your own accomplishments with your bucket list trip, without being guilt-tripped. They shouldn't have inserted her into it.
    via Maximum_Tomatillo109
  • 36
    Ruthless_Bunny Go, have fun, have affairs. Meet new people. Don't feel an ounce of guilt. This is YOUR trip. Your family are being hyper- weird about this.
    via Ruthless_Bunny

Tags

europe family drama aita kids mother siblings reddit story solo travel parenting family sister trip Reddit road trip women parents children Father
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